I got my script coverage back from
Scriptapalooza last week. It was more positive than I expected which
was a pleasant surprise, and I learned something I didn't know I
didn't know so it was worth the money to get a report back. The main
comments referred to a concept I thought I understood, but clearly
didn't. Other people have told me the same thing and I obediently
shook my head, 'Yuppers, I get it,' whilst missing the point
entirely.
But I thought I understood so
that has to count for... exactly nothing, actually.
Their main (and nearly only, yay me:)
criticism about my entry revolved around the various story lines. My
A story was exciting and interesting. My B story was interesting but
didn't have much to do with the A story beyond appearing and taking
up pages. The C story was interesting but petered away into nothing
like a fart in the wind. A winning script, that does not make.
I've read and been told to tie
the three separate story lines together. I thought I did, but just
being set in the same universe with the same characters in the same
script isn't enough. Just being present isn't enough. The separate
story lines have to feed back into each other like a braid.
I pondered this and pondered this and
pondered this, still not quite grasping the concept. While I was
pondering, I discovered to my eternal delight that BBC4 isn't region
locked. At first glance, this has nothing to do with anything except
to be an additional way to mess around on the web, but at second
glance, this completely revolutionized everything.
Cabin Pressure --> Johannesburg -->
Play
If you've never listened to Cabin
Pressure, stop what you're doing, download it and come back. I'll
wait. It's brilliant, hysterically funny, and I think
I'm in love. It's my new favorite show.
So I'm thinking deep thoughts about my
script report and the various failures of the story lines to relate
back to each other while I listened. I laughed my way through the
episode then instantly started it over because my mind was making
some interesting connections amid all the giggles. I paid much more
attention to how the episode unfolded the second/third/fourth
time listening.
Did I mention it's brilliant?
In the A story: Caroline is annoyed at
Martin and Douglas and makes them cut two thousand pounds off their
budget for the trip. If they succeed they can split the money. If
they fail and come in a single penny over, they have to pay her a
grand apiece. She thinks it's a fantastic idea. They're not so sure,
but with a thousand pounds on the line, they're willing to go along
with her. Also she doesn't actually give them any choice.
To save on fuel, Douglas shakes the
plane down and tosses anything he deems unnecessary weight, including
the coffee pot. Later during the B story Douglas tells Arthur to fill
a wine bottle with water and set it on the edge of the engine to heat
up so they can make coffee later. Incidentally, that sets up the C
story. It all just builds on itself.
In the B story: A warning light comes
on, leading to an emergency landing to get it fixed. Martin and
Arthur go on an away mission to retrieve a mechanic and suffers
assorted hijinks, including getting their borrowed baggage truck
stuck under a bridge while Douglas is still focused on the A story of
trying to come in under budget. When presented with the bill for
their emergency stop, he has to do something to knock twenty bucks
off so the airfield manager floats the idea of Douglas washing his
car.
It's the same car the airfield manager
refused to let them borrow at the beginning of the B story which led
to Martin and Arthur dinking around Spain in a baggage truck.
Determined not to pay Caroline a thousand pounds, Douglas whines
about it, agrees, and parks the car behind the plane to wash it with
some minor heckling from Caroline. He needs the money, okay?
Martin and Arthur return with a
mechanic, he fixes their problem by thumping the instrument panel,
revealing that the plane wasn't actually broken at all, just the
little yellow warning light.
They're going to take off before the
airfield closes at five, they're under budget, they won't owe
Caroline any money. Martin does a quick jog around the plane for his
preflight inspection and they get ready to leave. For once everything
goes right. Or does it?
The tower calls them in a panic.
They've fired a missile. Directly into the car Douglas washed to
reduce the bill (A story). It's still parked behind the plane they
thought was broken (B story). The missile is the wine bottle
in the engine Arthur forgot about (C story).
Presumably they don't finish the trip
under budget.
There you have it. A story, B story,
and C story. They cross and crisscross each other.
Go listen to the episode if you haven't
already. You can pick out the places the different story lines
intersect. I feel like I've had a writer breakthrough. When people
say tie the different story lines together they honestly mean tie
them together. They're not being cryptic. It's not enough to
be happening at the same time or be in the same script, they have to
weave in and out like a braid.
I'm going back and doing another page 1
rewrite of horror script so it's ready to go the very instant 'Girls
on Film' reopens. Right now horror script is another example of A, B,
and C not coming anywhere near each other, let alone interlacing. Now
I can fix that.
Thank god for Cabin Pressure.
