Well then. I finally took the plunge and had a few friends read over my Scriptapalooza contest entry before I sent it off to a for-real, professional, gets paid to do it, script editor. I thought it was just perfect as it was and they would be singing my praises because of my own magnificence... and... no.
First there was the expected debate over proper use of the comma. Seriously guys, do we really need twenty-three different rules about commas? Does anyone ever actually say, "Golly, I want an actual logical reason to put a comma there besides 'it just looks right'?" Don't even get me started on the semi-colon. I know proper capitalization is the difference between 'helping your Uncle Jack off a horse' and 'helping your uncle jack off a horse', but myself and the comma just don't get along.
Survey says... two fairly major plot holes. The first one I could just be lazy and hand wavy away, but adding two lines to explain why two characters were in a very unexpected location made it easier to read. No, you perverted minded people, they were not in bed. One is a minor. Shame on you! Don't you feel bad now for assuming things?
The other plot hole... what I meant to happen and what I actually wrote down ended up being two totally different things. Worlds apart totally different things. I've got one character answering a question that wasn't actually asked. A question was asked... but not the one he answered.
Hahaha and lolz, why the hell didn't I actually notice that?
The answer he gave was completely brilliant, stunning, it moved me to tears, I wept into my keyboard, it was an absolute work of art- except it had nothing whatsoever to do with the conversation. Damn it. So I changed the conversation. Again, once I kicked my own flaming ego out of the way, it was much improved.
One thing I really wrestled with is the language differences. It's a UK show, right? Torch, not flashlight. Car park, not parking lot. But the contest is American and if I got a reader that is powerfully confused then I would just be screwed, and not in a fun way. 'Why is he using a piece of wood with a flaming, oil soaked rag on one end... indoors? This character is dumber than a box of rocks. Doesn't he know about carbon monoxide?'
Nothing for it but to seek professional help. I asked the lovely script reader lady what I should do and her advice was to pick one or the other. The rules just say that the entry has to be in english, and it doesn't get more english than English english. Decision made. Bring on the torches!
I'll keep you posted on what the lovely script reader lady says when I get it back. I have a feeling my ego is going to be battered and bruised. Oh well. Some bruises turn really pretty colors around the edges. I'm especially partial to the purpley-blue ones.
On the horror front, I'm up to sixty pages. Thirty more to go, and I feel bad every time I work on that script because it's kids, I'm doing horrible things... to kids. But that's the point of horror, isn't it? To take the audience on a roller coaster of emotions and leave them feeling like they've been punched in the throat while they fight back tears? That's how I feel anyway. I have high hopes for it.