Monday, April 30, 2012

Granny knows best

So the rom-com is ticking along nicely. Well, by nicely I really mean fits and starts and disjointed scenes and I have to keep telling myself I can't edit a blank page so I've got to get something down, even if it's sucktastic. It's got a working title of 'Chunks' and no, you don't want to know why. Just trust me, you just don't. I've done a rough, very very rough outline and spent a lot of time thinking about exactly what needs to happen for this to be worth reading.

I know the story I want to tell fairly well, but can I actually tell it? Yes, yes I think I can. If it will cooperate. Now I've run smack into the first of what I'm sure is going to be many unexpected issues. Lemme explain.

I've got two main characters, and one slightly less main character. Slightly less main character has a grandmother that was supposed to roll in, observe the situation, and pronounce doom on everyone for the trouble they've got themselves into that kicks off the whole story. Then she's supposed to flounce away back to the bingo hall to shotgun Ensure and speculate about the new Dallas movie. This is her only scene, right? But she won't leave.

Won't. Leave.

Now granny's over in the corner, cackling with glee at the pitiful hijinks the others are suffering from. No, she won't fix it for them. She could, but she won't. She's too busy laughing and besides, that's too easy. I tried to hurry her away so they could get on with dealing with the problem themselves. Exit Granny, stage left. She wasn't having it. She declared doom on me too and threatened to belt me with her cane. This was more entertaining than any amount of bingo and gossip and she wasn't going to be escorted to the door. Nope.

Horrified, I backed away from the keyboard.

How does that even work? I'm making this up. Is there a part of my mind represented by the granny that blows a great big raspberry at the rest of my mental bandwidth? What does that mean about me as a person? I can't even make the invisible, imaginary people I make up out of absolute nothing do what I want.

Apparently I'm a pushover. No wonder my dog never listens. I'm going to make some more coffee and then me and granny are having it out. She's giving me the evil eye right now. Shit. But she's not staying. No.

Bring it on, granny. 

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